inbox;

[stressors]

● "Hey, it's Shiro." ●

"Sorry you missed me. Leave me one and I'll call you right back. Thanks."

☏ call. ✉ text. ⌨ video. ☄ action.

code over at pagans

Comments

[stressors]

[ well, we slept together in one, and you straddled me in another. ]

Not really.

But I think I know what you mean when you say it feels like you know me.

[impulsors]

[ a sharp, quick lull. ]

i saw someone with the fever a few weeks ago. remembering you doesn't feel anything like that. but it still doesn't make sense

[stressors]

Have you checked the network recently? Some people reported having weird dreams.

[impulsors]

weird how?

[stressors]

I don't really know. Like they're memories, I guess.

[ but that sounds crazier and crazier by the minute. talking about it anonymously was one thing. ]

Think there's a chance we're both sick?

[impulsors]

the sickness wasn't just dreams. the people who had it started hallucinating during the day, thinking people they'd never met were really there. some of them couldn't even move. this is different

[impulsors]

[ . . . ]

do you feel like you're sick?

[stressors]

[ . . . ]

No. I'm all right.

I'm sure this will pass, whatever it is.

[stressors]

But thanks.

I don't know why, but I really wanted to hear from you.

[impulsors]

[ . . . ]

probably because you just woke up

[stressors]

[ . . . ]

Well. I missed you.

[impulsors]

did you feel a draft or something?

[stressors]

[ a laugh, not that keith can hear it. ]

Yeah, that's probably it.

Nights are getting colder.

[impulsors]

[ . . . ]

if you want a new window just say it

[stressors]

[ hard to imagine the same boy tucking his head under his chin to sleep.

ah, well. ]

I meant it. No ulterior motives. I had a dream about you, and I missed you when I woke up.

I'll try to ensure it doesn't happen again.

[impulsors]

[ but that still leaves him with lead under his tongue and an empty, mindless pull underlying every bone. the bed's too big with the way he's crowded himself against the wall, one knee drawn up. holding his place as if he's only waiting.

it isn't the fever; it can't be just that. but there're no other options. ]

can i see you?

[stressors]

[ he expected a more discouraging reaction.

a rejection, and they'd be done with it. no more broken windows; no more strange nostalgia; no more thinking about some strange boy by his side, with a small, rare smile telling him, i'm glad you're back.

better to be disappointed now than later. and yet, there's still this. ]

You're not weirded out?

[impulsors]

it IS weird. it doesn't fit.

but it feels right when you're there. like you're supposed to be

[ which conveniently skirts around any questions of missing anyone in the present tense. ]

[stressors]

[ what the fuck how is that any better than "i missed you"

. . . ]

You know, most people wouldn't think twice about someone who's been following them around for a week.

Finding out they've been rooting through your things.

[impulsors]

you're not most people

[stressors]

You're going to make me blush.

[impulsors]

you know what i meant

can i see you today or not

[stressors]

[ it isn't the smartest diversion. killjoys are neutral, and it isn't like the company's very popular with the majority vote these days.

they both probably have other things to worry about. he has the thing on the cruiser to attend, and the long drive to get there. he has assignments that he's really not looking forward to, and it isn't as though he has any time to keep his own agenda, to keep his own counsel. after all, what's the use in fixating on a dream?

. . . ]

How soon can you get here?

[impulsors]

25 minutes

[ and then - ]

wait. 15

[stressors]

Without running the lights.